Torn

I am constantly torn between sticking around and leaving. Everyone wants to know that there is someone out there who loves them unconditionally, who will go through any storm, and loves them when they are loveless and undeserving. I want to be that person for you. But I'm afraid of wasted efforts. I'm afraid of wasting too much of myself trying to save a drowning person. I am afraid of losing a greater opportunity to appear in front of my doorstep, waiting for me to notice that it has always been there.

I hope you find that hope which inspires you to be better, the hope to reach for more, and to never stop until you get there. I hope you will remember me as one of those people who wanted nothing but good for you. I have been praying for a little miracle to happen where you will finally have the courage to pursue a better you, to make right with the wrong things done, and to soften the edges in your life. I hope that in that time we will belong again. I hope if you ever find yourself inspired, motivated, and ambitious again, that I will be with you along the ride. But until then, I need to stay away and wait. Hopefully, indefinitely.

I Want To Know...

I want to know how deep the wound is to better understand the way it scarred. Maybe I can pour love into the holes and stitch the cracks back together. I've been having a habit of falling in love with what is broken. Maybe because it reminds me of my own. I want you to know that not everyone appears to be the way they seem.

To Just Forget

I have often told other people to swallow your pride because it will never fix your relationship between another person. But when it comes to saving yourself from the pain I somehow wish I had a little pride to love myself more. I guess I admire those who do have the courage to move on very easily. To have the perseverance to care for themselves instead of caring too much about other people who end up hurting you. I wish I was strong enough to just let things go… To just forget.