Tuesday, July 22, 2014

That Central Park Bench



New York City is where our love was bred and Central Park was the next trip we went to for our first date together after visiting St. Patrick's Cathedral. We decided then that we would try to slowly tour around all the attractions and sceneries in the park - in different days, of course. Strawberry Fields was the first location I suggested we go since I wanted to show you the caption "Imagine" on the memorial mosaic. That day I was wearing my gray cardigan which I've also kept for the sentimental value of my Mama, it's the only clothing I have left that she fixed and sewed together a ripped part on the left arm of the cardigan before she passed away. I was telling myself that I'd tell you about my Mama and my gray cardigan but we got so busy having fun walking around the park that I totally forgot about it. The day grew hotter and I took off my cardigan, tied it around my bag, and hadn't thought about placing it inside my bag instead. We took pictures together, held hands while walking and happened to come across a turtle crossing the pavement to the other side of the grass. We're no longer at Strawberry Fields but some place in the midst of the park surrounded by so many trees, until then, I realized my cardigan was no longer tied around my bag. I started to panic, knowing that was the only effort I have left of my Mama's sewing talent. I told you the story about it, and you told me to calm down, that we'd trace our path back to where we started. I was already sweating bullets pacing faster and faster, keeping my eyes open to the possibility of finding it. We passed the area where we encountered the turtle and back to the little garden tunnel where we took pictures, and there it was, my cardigan was found placed on top of a bench. Feeling so relieved, we sat down to catch our breath on the bench next to where it was. I sighed with much more relief. We looked around and found a quote screwed on the bench written on a silver plaque, by Irinochka, it read "May not always be right, but never wrong." In response to that, I said, "Mama, what are you trying to tell us?"


Sometimes life brings us to a certain situation where we know that what we're doing is wrong, but because were trapped inside this box of elation, we continue to do whatever it is that makes us happy. When we talk about love, maybe even true love, the wrong things may not always be wrong because there is no wrong when it comes to love.

What we had or what we did wasn't right because you were stuck in a relationship with someone else. Although, that day, I took it as a sign. Maybe it was all meant to happen. Going to Central Park, losing my cardigan, finding it on the bench, and realizing that someone must have placed it there - to whomever it was, thank you. Maybe this is all meant to happen. Maybe we are meant to happen.







Sunday, July 13, 2014

Dear ____,

I don't know much about you yet, and I guess that's what intrigues me. You've definitely caught my attention.. and kept it without much effort. I don't even think you realize how much I'm enamored by you. It's been such a long time since I've felt this way.. and maybe it's because I didn't let myself fall for anyone else after I got my heart broken way back then. But now.. it's different. You've reminded me about something that I almost completely forgot about, and that's how wonderful it feels to have butterflies in my stomach whenever I see someone special, the simple instance of when that special someone comes to mind.. a smile comes across my face in a split second, and how it feels to be genuinely happy again.


I don't know what's going to happen for us; maybe we'll end up together, or maybe everything will fall apart as soon as it had started.. but all the same.. thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I can fall for someone else, and develop feelings for someone new. I really hope the next boy and first man I end up with though.. is you.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Infinite and Intimate


I never expected any of this to happen to the both of us. We kept telling each other that we need to have some distance but it seems like the more we try, the harder it gets and the easier for us to fall back into each other's arms.

You've absolutely no idea how slowly and suddenly I'm falling for you. My knees figuratively bent down when you brought me to St. Patrick's Cathedral with you to pray the rosary after the mass. And that was when I found that one thing I've been looking so hard for in a guy lately - your character. It's you.

Every space fits perfectly when drawn together like a puzzle and each second that we spend together, near or far, I say, is a blessing.

Thank you, for being my infinite and intimate.


Friday, May 2, 2014

The Magical World of DISNEY WORLD










Having spent 2 days in Disney World Orlando, Florida with your very close friend is a dream if not, a magical experience. I was definitely feeling young again seeing some of the classical and new Disney characters. The park was huge and lining up for the rides took nearly an hour to reach but my pointed flat sandals from Urban Outfitters didn't fail my feet, although walking around for more than 12 hours did kill my legs by the end of the day (and also getting my skin burned from extremely sunny weather). But hey, there's always a little pain in reaching happiness. In the end, my friend and I felt what Disney will always have to offer to everyone, a dream come true! 






Sunday, March 23, 2014

To Be Better

The Sunday homily by a visiting priest was inspiring. Though I've heard the notion, "choose to be better, not to be bitter" many times, I think it's great to be reminded of it over again at some point in life. Death isn't a choice, it is a destiny and I'd hate to say it but we all die in the end. The way we die is the only choice we have. It is either to die as a better person or to die bitter. I'd like to share what Father said, that he believes we are all good people but we shouldn't just settle for good, we should be better. And I believe that there's always room for improvements.

So dear God, I don't always understand what you have planned for me. The best I know how is to accept every opportunity that comes my way, hoping that you lined up everything for me. I place my trust and heart into your hands, hoping that whatever it is that I'm diving into will either strengthen me or bring me peace. I won't always understand why certain things happen and I know I will stumble and lose my path. But I hope in the moments of wrong that I receive forgiveness and grace to be better than that second. I hope that your kingdom will still be ready for me despite my many flaws and wrongs. I don't strive to be perfect and I will make so many more mistakes. I just ask that you do not forsaken me because every day I will strive to be better than before.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Breakfast at Tiffany's



I've become such a fan of Lily Collins lately and I keep hearing other people say that she looks like Audrey Hepburn. So today I decided to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's to have a little connection to what Audrey Hepburn was like. The movie started with Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) standing in front of a store in New York called Tiffany's, looking at jewelry thru the glass window while eating her breakfast. I was falling in love with the romantic song playing in the background called, Moon River. It played many times during the movie but in different versions, one was Audrey Hepburn's vocal. A few scripts from the story was a bit hard to understand if you don't listen well to what they're saying but I find their English jokes quite funny in a corny way. I was actually surprised that the ending brought me tears. I didn't expect myself to feel that way in the end. It's such a classic that I felt a little bit of how life was in the 60's.




Saturday, February 8, 2014

Love & Misadventure Surprise




Lang Leav was in Fully Booked Manila, Philippines and my cousin, Angel, surprised me with this postcard signed by Lang Leav. It’s so thoughtful of her to do this for me. I feel thrilled!

This is my cousin's message (by the way, my nickname is Pet-pet) which she posted on facebook:

Pet-pet! I know how much you love her so I'll send you this little postcard soon!!! I need to figure out how the whole posting mail thing works first. Please send your mailing address, email, and cell no in a direct message. Mwah mwah!


Friday, February 7, 2014

Beautiful Blessing

It’s a time like this, I wish I wasn’t in the center of a certain situation where I have to be the bridge between two sides. The minute you said you needed to talk to me, I knew what was coming. I had a feeling that it would be something only I should know first before you tell the rest of the family. This is going to be hard at first but I know you’ll get thru it. We will all get thru this. I want to hug you and tell you that it’s going to be okay. Know that I am always here to listen and to understand, even if you’ve done wrong. I promise you that I will do my very best to be there when the time comes - the day when the beautiful blessing joins us in our tree. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Tree of Life










I was browsing Tree of Life's blog and fell in love with their collection called The Sugar Skull. It is inspired by Mexico's Dia De Los Muertos - or the Day of the Dead festival. The name may sound terrifying but this is a beautiful ritual in which Mexicans happily and lovingly remember their loved relatives who have died. The patterns of this collection resemble how people visit the graveyard and leave flowers on a tomb of a relative. The pieces look absolutely festive.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

There's A Time

There's a time to love,
And a time to hate. 
There's a time to cry,
And a time to celebrate.
There's a time to be happy
And there's a time to be sad.
But in every season,
Move forth
Never stay mad.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

It's Okay


It'll always be okay. That's it, that's all it will ever be. It will never be better, worst, or spectacular. Everything is always "okay" and my feelings have remained stagnant in a roller coaster ride - it doesn't move anywhere but keeps going in circles. I always have to find some kind of understanding in everything that comes my way. Even when crap comes to worst, expectations come running, begging me to turn the other cheek and say "it's okay." But honestly, I wish I didn't have to always understand.

Pain isn't something new to me. I've scraped my knee, broken my little pinky toe. I occasionally collide myself against a hard surface and find bruises here and there. Emotionally, I've felt pain too. Far too many significant others have crossed my path. Far too many have left, and I have left far too many. Rejection occurs more times than I'd wish. And same goes with failure.

To be honest, I'm scared out of my mind right now. Completely afraid of the future. Am I making too irrational a decision? Am I going too fast? Too slow? Is this right? Too many times before I've doubted myself the same way I do now, and sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

There are days where I feel so capable and invincible. And then there are days like these that make me question where I'm headed. I doubt my own potential because of the flaws in my work or my lack of motivation to start over and over again. This isn't the time to mope and cry. I should be conquering my dreams right now, but somehow I can't believe in myself simply because the thoughts I'm thinking won't flow smoothly into words. I feel too drained and weak. The life I'm leading and the one I want to lead seem so, so far away.

But I want to hang on, to know what happens next. I want to keep moving forward no matter how tired I feel. I want to remind everyone that "it's okay" not be okay sometimes. Never pull the trigger just because things didn't happen the way you'd hoped for. This too shall pass. It will be better, it will be worst and it will be spectacular - believe in that. Things get better in time, they always, always do.

Photo credits: Tumblr

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Silence Is The Best Defense


Silence is like the ocean. It's deep. It's dark. And it's full of hidden treasures like words left unsaid. It can drown you if you keep them all inside. But silence is also the best defense. Sometimes you just have to know when you can't fight fire with fire, only the waves can do that. 

There will be certain moments in life where you can't defend yourself with words anymore. You say nothing not because you're proving yourself to be wrong, but because you know that there's no point in arguing. You know that no matter how many words you say, nothing will make things better. Allow yourself to fall back in silence and let silence speak its way. Let things go, just like the ocean - a free flow.


Photo credits: Tumblr

Monday, January 20, 2014

Magic Hour


Found this photo in my phone gallery and surprisingly at an 11:11 (make a wish) time, except I didn't screen capture this. Maybe I pressed the buttons by accident but it would be a great coincidence that I pressed them at this time. Someone out there must want me to make a wish.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

People Crossing


I have been walking on a rough road. People crossed my way leaving narrow spaces between the surface. Some of them I learned to forget while others remain as sweet but sour memories. I was robbed once, choked by a big man in the middle of the street while walking from school at night. I've been bullied in class and on social networks. A classmate in 5th grade cut my hair while teasing me and people I knew wrote nasty things about me on facebook. I have been broken hearted, cheated by someone I never expected to make a huge dent underneath my rib cage. These are just a few mentioned wounds that scarred my sole along the pavements. The most painful ones are matters concerning the heart.

I still love the people who have hurt me and I pray for them the most. I don't know any better way to heal than that. Maybe I would prefer to believe that our hearts were created by God with nothing but good intentions than live a life of cynicism. Maybe sometimes our human capacity to mend each other is by having us do the exact opposite. I don't avoid crossing the same path as the person who broke my heart. I still wake up loving the man who abused me. I just learned to forgive what has been done.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

While sitting on my seat in AMC theaters, I thought, "what's up with this movie? - what exactly is the secret of Walter Mitty's life?" Well, the beginning was boring me, to be honest, I was yawning, but I was also eager to know the point of the movie so I refused to fall asleep. I wanted to know 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty'. In the midst of the scenes, I broke into laughter and excitement. The story was finally going somewhere amazing, and I mean literally. Walter Mitty's "zoned out" moments - when he uses his fantasies instead of doing what he can, in reality, began to change. He was spontaneously traveling to places that not many people even go to - Greenland, Iceland, Afghanistan, Himalayas. He began to see the world behind his walls and in the end there really was no secret. It was all about making things happen in his life rather than day dreaming. This is an inspiringly feel good kind of movie and for two hours I felt like I was the one living in a dream.



Ben Stiller is the actor, the director, and the producer. His directing was precise and human, precious and spectacular at the same time. His character transformation is amazing - he was perfect!




The film is pure poetry and adventure. It gives a very simple message:  If you can imagine wonderful, extraordinary things, If you’re dreaming about being someone else, stop, because you’re losing time, and important moments of your real life, just embrace your envies, and take the opportunity when it’s before you, follow what you really want, and believe in yourself more than anyone, it’s the only and the simplest way to make your life your own.

The soundtrack excessively gave the scenes more drive to the adventure. It’s a plus for me considering I love indie music. I decided to upload the full album in my 8tracks: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Soundtrack. My favorites are Step Out and Stay Alive by Jose Gonzalez, Lake Michigan by Rogue Wave and Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men.




Movie quotes:

"To see things thousands of miles away. Things hidden behind walls and within rooms. Things dangerous to come to. To draw closer. To see and be amazed and to feel. That is the purpose of life" - Life's Motto

"Beautiful things don't ask for attention" - Sean O'Connell

          "My mind drifts like the snow" - Walter Mitty 

"To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life."







Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Saddest People

The saddest people I have ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Who let things happen simply because they say "Life happens" or "Things happen for a reason". People who didn't fight for anything that should have, could have, and would have mattered. That's the kind of person I don't ever want to become but sadly am becoming.

I try to avoid thinking about what could have been if I stayed. If I was the kind of person who did fight. Maybe then, I wouldn't be here right now typing these words and belittling myself - "well Faith, life happens".

But then there's this feeling of hope that seems to be so good in finding its way to us, in our minds. A little of it keeps telling me to just keep going, go after the things that do matter in this very moment because things will fall in the right place, at the right time - God knows when. Time alone waits for no one and though I've wasted so much of it, through all that, I learned to be patient. I learned that things don't change overnight. They don't even change in days, weeks, and sometimes months from now, but they do, eventually.

It's the willingness to be patient and the courage to never give up.