Love & Misadventure Surprise

Lang Leav was in Fully Booked Manila, Philippines and my cousin, Angel, surprised me with this postcard signed by Lang Leav. It’s so thoughtful of her to do this for me. I feel thrilled!

This is my cousin's message (by the way, my nickname is Pet-pet) which she posted on facebook:

Pet-pet! I know how much you love her so I'll send you this little postcard soon!!! I need to figure out how the whole posting mail thing works first. Please send your mailing address, email, and cell no in a direct message. Mwah mwah!

Beautiful Blessing

It’s a time like this, I wish I wasn’t in the center of a certain situation where I have to be the bridge between two sides. The minute you said you needed to talk to me, I knew what was coming. I had a feeling that it would be something only I should know first before you tell the rest of the family. This is going to be hard at first but I know you’ll get thru it. We will all get thru this. I want to hug you and tell you that it’s going to be okay. Know that I am always here to listen and to understand, even if you’ve done wrong. I promise you that I will do my very best to be there when the time comes - the day when the beautiful blessing joins us in our tree. 

Tree of Life

I was browsing Tree of Life's blog and fell in love with their collection called The Sugar Skull. It is inspired by Mexico's Dia De Los Muertos - or the Day of the Dead festival. The name may sound terrifying but this is a beautiful ritual in which Mexicans happily and lovingly remember their loved relatives who have died. The patterns of this collection resemble how people visit the graveyard and leave flowers on a tomb of a relative. The pieces look absolutely festive.

There's A Time

There's a time to love,
And a time to hate. 
There's a time to cry,
And a time to celebrate.
There's a time to be happy
And there's a time to be sad.
But in every season,
Move forth
Never stay mad.

It's Okay

It'll always be okay. That's it, that's all it will ever be. It will never be better, worst, or spectacular. Everything is always "okay" and my feelings have remained stagnant in a roller coaster ride - it doesn't move anywhere but keeps going in circles. I always have to find some kind of understanding in everything that comes my way. Even when crap comes to worst, expectations come running, begging me to turn the other cheek and say "it's okay." But honestly, I wish I didn't have to always understand.

Pain isn't something new to me. I've scraped my knee, broken my little pinky toe. I occasionally collide myself against a hard surface and find bruises here and there. Emotionally, I've felt pain too. Far too many significant others have crossed my path. Far too many have left, and I have left far too many. Rejection occurs more times than I'd wish. And same goes with failure.

To be honest, I'm scared out of my mind right now. Completely afraid of the future. Am I making too irrational a decision? Am I going too fast? Too slow? Is this right? Too many times before I've doubted myself the same way I do now, and sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

There are days where I feel so capable and invincible. And then there are days like these that make me question where I'm headed. I doubt my own potential because of the flaws in my work or my lack of motivation to start over and over again. This isn't the time to mope and cry. I should be conquering my dreams right now, but somehow I can't believe in myself simply because the thoughts I'm thinking won't flow smoothly into words. I feel too drained and weak. The life I'm leading and the one I want to lead seem so, so far away.

But I want to hang on, to know what happens next. I want to keep moving forward no matter how tired I feel. I want to remind everyone that "it's okay" not be okay sometimes. Never pull the trigger just because things didn't happen the way you'd hoped for. This too shall pass. It will be better, it will be worst and it will be spectacular - believe in that. Things get better in time, they always, always do.

Photo credits: Tumblr